Graphite and Paper Cuts
by mutemockingjay
Summary: He had never made anything like it before, and only hoped it would bring a smile on her face. Dark on Fire companion oneshot. Church/Tex. Happy very belated birthday, Martienne!


**A/N: So this a combination belated birthday (well, almost two months belated, I'm so so sorry!) and Valentine's Day oneshot for an amazing writer, beta, and friend-Martienne. I really hope you like it. :)**

**And I couldn't help but include the slight After School Special/White Knight throwback in the beginning. **

* * *

He got the idea in class.

The grade 8 teacher-a crotchety old woman named Ms. Patterson—almost never talked about anything Church cared about. And she never talked about The Time Before. Before the Dark Days, even before the founding of Panem. Church got the distinct feeling that no one was supposed to know about The Time Before, and even mentioning it would have bad consequences. And as soon as she realized her slip-up she wouldn't say any more on the matter. That, however, did not deter him in the slightest and he practically ran home as soon as school let out.

It was dumb, he knew. In fact, if anyone but her found out he would never live it down. "Anyone" most notably being his ten year old brother Epsilon, who was too much of a smartass for his own good as far as Church was concerned. He kicked off his shoes and ran to his room before either his mom or Epsilon could pester him, locking the door behind him. He ran his hands across the shelves on his desk, pulling everything from pencils to paper to some stupid, tiny plastic fish he had somehow acquired. He wasn't sure if fish really had anything to do with what he was supposed to be making, but he figured it didn't hurt to be prepared.

He gripped a pencil in his hands, laying out a fresh sheet of paper. Girls liked drawings, right? And this was supposed to be as pretty as possible. She had never really seemed like the type who was fond of pretty, girly things, but he wanted to make things nice for her. And that maybe if he did, she would look at him the way he looked at her.

Maybe.

He started off with light, feathery strokes, squinting. He knew exactly what he was going to draw; something that he hoped would bring out the rare smile that made his heart do back flips. He nibbled his lower lip in concentration; the side of his hand smeared with color as his strokes became darker and more intense. He didn't know how many minutes passed until he finally finished, picking up the paper and holding it at a distance. It would be beautiful, he was certain of it. And she would thank him, throwing her arms around his neck and finally kissing him like he so wanted her to.

But when he properly looked at it, he knew that would never happen. Not if he gave her this. He couldn't even really tell what it was anymore. Smears of grey, blurry shapes—he wasn't quite sure how he managed it, but she had somehow ended up resembling a cross between a bloated whale he had seen in a schoolbook, and the cafeteria lady at school.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered under his breath, crumpling it and tossing it into his wastebasket. The dented metal basket was empty but in the course of a few hours it was teeming with rejected drawings, each one getting worse by the hour. His responses were getting fouler, too, and he knew he would be grounded for at least a week if his mom managed to walk by his door and hear the most colorful language District 2 had to offer.

By midnight his eyes were red and burning, his hands covered in bandages, and he wondered if his hand would ever un-cramp. But when he collapsed into his unmade bed, still fully clothed, he was satisfied.

* * *

"What the hell is this?"

Through the night Church had imagined a thousand different reactions she may have had towards it. However, this one had slipped his mind.

"Um…" He looked down at his untied sneakers, "Well, in The Time Before, today was special."

"Oh, really?" She leaned up against her locker, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do share."

"I was just going to, Tex, before you interrupted!"

She brushed a stray piece of red hair out of her eyes and it took all of Church's self control to keep himself from reaching out and correcting it first.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway. In The Time Before, today was called Valentine's Day. And, um, people used to make cards and give them to…um…people they…um…yeah." He could feel himself blushing and he wished he had never made her a card at all. Or at least had been smart enough to drop it into the slats of her locker instead of handing it to her grinning like a complete dork.

She traced the front of the card, and opened the inside. "So…you drew this for me?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I now it's stupid but I just…"

"What's this?" She asked, pointing to the smears of red in random places.

"Paper cuts," he said, quickly sticking his bandaged hands into his pockets.

"And you drew me a dog?" She had a half smile on her face, the tips of her fingers outlining the picture.

"Uh…uh…it was supposed to you." He could barely choke the words out, sweat soaking the back of his shirt.

"Oh. Well, um, it's very…nice."

Nice.

The word rang in his ears, and he swayed a little on his feet. Just nice. He was no artist, he knew that, but he had hoped for more than just "nice."

_Time to go dig a hole for me to live in_.

"I…I…I think I have to go," he said, waving his hand towards the depths of the hall. "I have…uh…hall duty today. Yeah, that's it. Hall duty."

He considered it a small miracle he was able to scamper down the hallway without tripping over his shoelaces. If he had taken a second to look back, however, he would have seen Tex put the card in the bag with a small smile on her face, whispering, "Well, Happy Valentine's Day, then, Church."


End file.
